Sex and Anxiety

Sex and Anxiety

Ever wondered about how sex and anxiety are related? Well, in truth, they’re related in both good and bad ways. Sex and anxiety and go together – meaning you get anxious about sex – or they can be opposites. Recent studies actually show that you can diffuse anxiety by having more sex! Here’s what you need to know about sex and anxiety:

Sex and Anxiety: Performance Anxiety

Sex and anxiety should never really have to go together, but, unfortunately, they sometimes do. It’s normal to get a little nervous on the first sexual encounter with a new person, but you shouldn’t let severe anxiety ruin your sex life, as some people are prone to do. If you have serious performance anxiety, you could have trouble getting an erection, becoming lubricated enough for sex, or finding any pleasure in the entire experience.

If you’re experiencing this form of social anxiety, there are a few different things you can do. Here are just a few things to help you overcome the situation when you’re dealing with sex and anxiety:

  • Figure out the root cause of the problem. More often than not, the root cause of sex and anxiety is something irrational. Sometimes you can come to terms with these underlying thoughts just by understanding what you’re thinking. Come to terms with the fact that sex is messy and personal, but it can always be fun and fulfilling, too!
  • Have sex with people you trust. Sometimes anxiety that goes along with sex can actually be made worse by having one-night stands. Even though you may never see that person again, there’s no level of trust there that ensures you feel comfortable with that person. If anxiety about sex is a big problem for you, try getting to know someone and trust someone very well before you sleep together. Sometimes this can work better than almost anything else for combatting sex-related anxiety.
  • Try cognitive-behavioral therapy. If sex and anxiety is becoming a huge problem in your life, you might want to consider using real therapy to help you overcome your problem. No one should experience a total lack of a sex life because of anxiety problems, and cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you overcome the anxiety you have surrounding sex.

Sex and Anxiety: More Sex = Less Anxiety

If you’re in a long-term relationship and already have a sexual pattern established, you may notice that stress and anxiety actually make you have less sex. This is normal and typical, but it’s not necessarily healthy, since more sex can actually make you feel less anxious and stressed.

Because sex is one of the best ways to get your body to release feel-good hormones that can keep you feeling calm, happy, and collected, you’ll find that the more good sex you get, the less stress and anxiety you’ll feel. So before you switch off the lights for another night of restless sleep because of your high anxiety levels, take this advice:

  • When you’re feeling particularly stressed and not in the mood for sex, try initiating sexual contact, anyway. You might be surprised at how quickly you get in the mood, and your partner might appreciate your advances, as well.
  • If you’re anxious because of a packed schedule, you should consider scheduling sex. It sounds unromantic, but it’s more romantic than never getting any. Write down at least one or two evenings on the calendar when you know you’ll both have time for sex if you don’t crash in front of the television, and then make it a priority. You’ll probably find that once you start having scheduled sex, you’ll start having more off-schedule sex, too.
  • Have a date. If you just can’t find yourself getting into the mood, you should try setting aside time for a romantic date to reconnect. Sometimes this can spark the flame and help you deal with anxiety more than anything else!